Feilyn (feilyn) wrote in mission_insane,

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Title: Regrets
Author: Feilyn
Rating: PG-13
Character(s): Kakashi, no pairing
Warnings: Character death
Prompt: Phrases - It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye
Summary: Kakashi is dying. These are his regrets and what he wishes he could have done to change them.

Kakashi’s life has been full of regrets.

There are so may of them, he’s not sure which one he should be thinking of now that he’s crumbled on the ground, a hole in his chest.

Sasuke. I couldn’t save my student.

He should have tried harder. He should have tried harder.

Well, you reap what you sow and it was Sasuke who inflicted his death wound on him.

Naruto. I couldn’t save him from the loneliness.

Another promise broken, but every time he set eyes upon the boy he saw Namikaze Minato and every time he heard the boy speak, he heard Uzumaki Kushina

Sensei. I couldn’t save my teacher.

Doomed to fight for an eternity in the belly of the Shinigami. Kakashi would have happily done it if it meant his teacher had lived to see his son grow into a hero.

. I couldn’t save the woman I loved.

He has always, always felt guilty for that, falling for his teacher’s lover. Nothing ever came of it, which isn’t a regret, but he should have been there. Should have given his life for hers so his sensei wouldn’t have died despairing for his child’s future.

Rin. I couldn’t save the girl who loved

He saw the haunted, broken look in her eyes after that incident and knew it was too late. Maybe that was why he hadn’t bothered, why he’d let her slip through his fingers and in the process shattered the most important promise of his life. Maybe that was why she killed herself.

Obito. I couldn’t save my friend.

Is that where it started? Is that why he was cursed? Another person he would have died for, should have died for and it turned out the other way. The wrong way.

What would Obito have done with his life? Would he be where Kakashi is now?

No. Because while Obito made mistakes and Kakashi made mistakes, his friend made the right mistakes. The sort of mistakes that make a real hero, not the poor imitation he’s tried to be all his life.

Somewhere above him, Sakura is sobbing. He can feel his ex-student desperately feeding chakra into his system and wants to tell her it’s going to be alright, but his mouth won’t form the words. Kakashi wonders if this is because his life is draining away, or because he’s knows it’s a lie.

The latter, he suspects.

And dimly he can hear Naruto’s roars as he fuses further with the Kyuubi and he hopes like hell that the boy – man, now – will come out the other end sane.

The Sharingan is crying. Obito’s eye is crying.

Well, maybe he did make one good mistake in his life, even though it didn’t matter in the long run. Prolonging Obito’s life that little bit longer was more than worth the loss of his eye.

Before that moment, life had been so much simpler. There were rules and regulations, a strict order of how things were meant to go. Kakashi never had to make a decision.

Odd, how it took losing an eye to see the truth of the world, to figure out what Obito had always known.

Life. Isn’t. Simple.


Tags: feilyn:naruto:general

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